A New Years Resolution for your entire family
Happy New Year! I wish you the most fabulous, wonderful and positive year to come!
This is the time that so many of us develop our New Years Resolutions. I personally avoid setting goals at this time, for myself or with my children, so that they are not driven by that “holiday mindset”. The “holiday mindset” refers to the level of consideration put into goal setting, which can be broadly described as:
unrealistic
non-committed
over-indulgent
focused on short-term gain
It’s a great mindset for making plans for the next holiday period, but not great for planning business or life.
Prior to engaging our ‘holiday mindset’, my family and I came up with a great family goal, which we are going to implement into our lives. Maybe you will like this also, so please feel free to use it. I encourage you to share it and see how it is received by each family member beforehand.
My family and I make strides to help each other overcome our personal hurdles. To do this, we can be quick to volunteer our feedback to each other, but may not always be gentle in our approach. We have developed habits of being sharp and direct with each other in this process. However we now risk this behaviour spreading beyond the relationships of the immediate family, to friends and possibly co-workers, where such direct feedback may not be welcome. In an effort to bring kindness and gentleness back to our process of supporting each other, we have decided to ditch ‘calling out’ each other. Instead, we have reframed this type of feedback to “calling in”.
Calling out, as the name itself implies, puts the person of focus ‘outside’ of their connections, for their choices or behaviour. This has never been the intention of our actions. However, it is what ends up happening. We ‘call out’ each other and then help each other out. This can filter into other areas of our lives, where we alienate others by calling them out for unacceptable behaviour or for making mistakes. Again, never our intention. In our society, you will notice many examples of this behaviour. Calling out people can bring with it a level of shame, degradation and humiliation. Making someone feel bad is a very bad way of helping them improve!
However, calling in, as the name implies, brings the individual of focus, closer. It’s almost like a kind embrace of sorts, and through this inclusion and support, we can still help to shift behaviour or help the person to overcome their struggle. Calling in can have a massive positive impact on the world around us, as we approach people with different thinking and behaviours with more understanding, empathy and kindness. We all want to be a apart of society and to be a part of a group. Every human being wants to belong. So calling in when someone is struggling instead of calling out, seems like the perfect reframe of this action we all implement in our own ways to grow and learn.
So, I hope you found this post at the very least, a jolt of inspiration to reframe something in your family to serve you all better in the new year. Or else, feel free to join us and implement this one into your own homes and lives.
With much love this 2021!
